racheyzane
Salut! Je m'appelle Mahalia. I live in the fast paced city of New York. I am a college student studying the art of performance and drama. In my free time, I write with soul of an ol' time Bohemian looking out into the city of Paris. I also like to take photos of those miniature passing moments that fly by us without our eyes realizing it. But all in all, I'm a young woman finding her way in the world.

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gotta still keep moving 

Today was filled with small happenings that reminded me that life is worth living no matter the absurd and depressing circumstances I’m facing. It started out when I saw a familiar face in my yoga class, an old high school classmate. Then it came to witnessing Mama M’s patience with a frustrated customer. It reminded me of the motto: “Breathe and let go,” which I often forget to do in tough situations.

In a conversation with Mama M, I revealed to her that I might have social anxiety disorder, which has been negatively affecting me and my acting. We discussed it further and she told me something about “tapping”. “Tapping” is a form of acupressure in which you apply pressure to certain pressure points in your body to relief different forms of anxiety, stress, anger, etc. Sounded interesting.

Going back home, we passed a Starbucks and I said, “I can’t even remember when the last time I had Starbucks was.” It was then that Mama M remembered she was given a Starbucks gift certificate. So we went in and got our favorite: White Chocolate Mocha.

We conversed about the whole notion about “Ask. Believe. Receive” and realized that it is true in the smallest forms that we don’t notice it. Like, I wanted my camera for so long, and I believed I was going to get it some way or another. I finally found a way to receive it. Now to find a way to apply that to the bigger aspects of my life. Hmmm…

Inspiration for the title:




I made a few discoveries today.

  1. I am way in over my head.
  2. I appreciate all that the universe has given me but I am not content with my life.
  3. I have learned the difference between contentment and happiness. Contentment requires satisfaction. Happiness does not let dissatisfaction control one’s life. There’s a thin line between both and I am walking that line.
  4. I feel disconnected from everyone, including myself.
  5. I want love more than I want any material thing this earth can offer me. I want passionate, understanding, fiery, romantic love.
  6. But I fear relationships. I fear that the love of my life will wake up one day and no longer love me. Or worse, that I’ll stop loving him. I fear comfortability. I fear becoming strangers.
  7. I fear growing apart from those I love. I fear losing the familiarity in a relationship and feeling the strange coldness it’s becoming. The loneliness starts to creep in. That’s when I’m most fragile.
  8. I’m stuck. It seems like I can’t move forward… and when I do, it brings me two step backwards.
  9. Rain is beautiful, no matter how gloomy it looks.
  10. A cup of tea is magnificent for the soul.

#all photos belong to me
#inspiration
#life
#my photography
#peace
#rain
#rainy day
#journal
#personal